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In a country where English is so widely used and learning it is mandatory, what does that say about girls who can barely write in it? I made the mistake of trying to date one girl who could only send illiterate one-syllable word texts, and most of our “date” consisted of me pantomiming with my arms hoping and praying something would penetrate her thick skull.

She was pretty cute, but the language barrier was simply too big to cross.

I’m both enormously sick and hard at work trying to pull myself out of the huge pile of work I’m buried in, so here are some thoughts I’ve picked up on dating and smashing Filipino girls for the past month. Yes, in a good number of cases, all you need to do is show up and not be a weirdo to get the pussy.

But Filipinas are far from stupid; they’re cunning and have their own share of stupid head games they play.

As you’d expect from a second-world country, the Philippines lacks many of the labor protections that Americans take for granted.

When it comes to girls you date who have jobs (particularly teenage girls), most of them are working twelve hours a day, six days a week.

This goes back to what I discussed in point one: given that most Filipinas speak passable English, why waste your time on one who can barely grunt out Filipino culture isn’t exactly intellectual to begin with; at times, it feels like this place got frozen in time somewhere around 1987.

There’s no reason to put up with shit from one girl where there are so many more willing to sleep with you.

It’s nowhere to play with men is the last minute meeting change-up.

It goes like this: you’ll start texting her, she’ll agree to meet you at place X, but then an hour before you meet, she’ll suddenly text you asking to meet at place Y instead because it’s “closer.” This is despite the fact that she had no problem meeting you at place X the night before.

I’ve had no less than girls in the past month try and pull this on me and I’ve nexted every single one.


This kind of game is an obvious power play: if you accede to her demands and change up your plans on her whim, she will be dictating the frame of the relationship.

For example, as I found out the hard way, Filipinos don’t say “o” in place of “zero” in spoken English when it comes to long numbers (ex: if you read off “103” as “one oh three,” many Filipinos will have no clue what you’re talking about; you have to say “one three” or “one hundred and three”).


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